Kindness as a path through uncertainty

As we begin emerging into long, sunlit days, Rutger Bregman’s Reith Lectures have become a welcome guiding light through my mornings (yes, I listen to BBC Radio 4 nowadays). Bregman urges us to hold onto kindness in an age of crisis. In his own words, “believing in the good of humanity is a revolutionary act”. From the cost of living to the climate crisis, day-to-day life can sometimes feel dark. Yet, Bregman argues, the power of collective kindness can become a source of luminous brilliance. 

 

This led me to ask, what if kindness was everywhere? 

 

Watching the news, it’s easy to accept unkindness as the norm. Stories about the actions of our political leaders, of humans to one another, and of people to the planet lead us to believe that kindness is an exception. It’s become common sense that what’s ‘rational’ is rarely ‘emotional,’ and what’s thought to be ‘possible’ is simply ‘pragmatic’. But the stories we hear most often don’t represent the diversity of perspective that can make the world brighter. In fact, they risk leaving us in the shadows. 

 

So what stories do we live by? And who tells them? 

 

I’m borrowing from the ideas of Sara Ahmed here (a cultural theorist who talks about emotional politics). Ahmed explains how taken-for-granted ideas about the world usually represent existing social inequalities and blanket the possibilities for change. I would hedge my bets that every person reading this has given and received both kindness and unkindness at times. We’re only human after all. But thinking about our everyday interactions, what values are we most often led by? I doubt it’s an intention to make the world worse. 

 

In that case, could kindness illuminate possibility in dark times? 

 

I hope so. 

 

A first step would be to become curious about the idea that we know the world. If we can challenge taken-for-granted perspectives (including our own), then the possibilities for recreating the world are infinitely expanded. And if we seek to understand often hidden stories with openness and empathy, then we might find kindness in unexpected places. Even being met with unkindness presents an opportunity to learn from a different worldview and bring kindness to it. We shouldn’t stop at humans, either. Our newfound curiosity and kindness could extend to all living things. When we think about taking care of the planet as part of our living and eating sustainably, the values of kindness and interdependency gain new importance. 

 

So what? 

 

Then it becomes our duty to practice radical kindness - kindness against the odds. Of course, it would be pretty impossible to right all worldly wrongs alone - systems are a vital part of improvement. But we can start locally. We can smile at passersby and share a couple more words with the people we meet. There are some excellent ‘pay-it-forward’ schemes to pass on a coffee, grocery shop, or an act of kindness to the next person who needs it. But kindness doesn’t have to cost - how we vote, listen, and scroll all shape the world around us. Kindness can change how we relate to one another. And through a community of curiosity, vulnerability, and acceptance, we can each bring something brilliant to the world. 

 

Of course, we must remember that kindness often comes from a place of privilege. Very real inequalities can reduce the resources or headspace that makes kindness much easier to practice. But that makes it more important, for those of us who can, to share kindness in the values, processes, and policies we preach. As leaders, we should bring kindness to work every day, going above and beyond to help people to shine. 

 

We must be kind, seek kindness, and actively support kindness-in-action. We must challenge unkindness and practise self-kindness, too. Then, on a gloomy path of uncertainty, perhaps kindness can brighten the world.